Women. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Welcome to the world of Beaniebang Babes a new product due to be launched in 2013 that is set to change the way we masturbate forever - for some at least.
Yes it truly is a ground-breaking technology. You take the latest in realistic love dolls all the way from Japan; you disguise them in the form of a beanbag; then you sell it to every horny guy out there (who knows, maybe even a few girls) who has ever asked the question - why can't I have a babe like that?
It's a victimless crime. What are we saying? It isn't even a crime, or if it is, don't worry, you've already paid for it.
You see, the truth is, every human being in the world, even the one standing beside you, wants sex - just not necessarily with you, or not necessarily at the same time as you. Hopefully, most of you out there reading this are mature enough to accept that premise. If not, please get professional counselling immediately. It could be the difference between having a 'normal' healthy life and spending the rest of that life incarcerated in the sex offenders unit of your local jail.
How to beaniebang is a story only you can discover - although there are plenty of manuals, aids and instructional videos for the complete thickos among you. If you can't figure it out, maybe you're just one of those tiny, insignificant minority destined to die a virgin - because banging a Beaniebang Bang doesn't count as on of those conquest that you can brag to the lads about down in the pub.
But that's still no reason why you can't have fun. We wish you the best of luck on your journey of discovery.
Yes it truly is a ground-breaking technology. You take the latest in realistic love dolls all the way from Japan; you disguise them in the form of a beanbag; then you sell it to every horny guy out there (who knows, maybe even a few girls) who has ever asked the question - why can't I have a babe like that?
It's a victimless crime. What are we saying? It isn't even a crime, or if it is, don't worry, you've already paid for it.
You see, the truth is, every human being in the world, even the one standing beside you, wants sex - just not necessarily with you, or not necessarily at the same time as you. Hopefully, most of you out there reading this are mature enough to accept that premise. If not, please get professional counselling immediately. It could be the difference between having a 'normal' healthy life and spending the rest of that life incarcerated in the sex offenders unit of your local jail.
How to beaniebang is a story only you can discover - although there are plenty of manuals, aids and instructional videos for the complete thickos among you. If you can't figure it out, maybe you're just one of those tiny, insignificant minority destined to die a virgin - because banging a Beaniebang Bang doesn't count as on of those conquest that you can brag to the lads about down in the pub.
But that's still no reason why you can't have fun. We wish you the best of luck on your journey of discovery.
And if you can't be with the one you love,
Love the one you're with
While this post has been sponsored, the views expressed represent those of the author and publisher, not necessarily those of the sponsor.